Scar tissue that I wish you saw..

It still opens itself to me. Its been months but im reminded of it nearly every day. I can recall the event like it was yesterday.

I remember laying on the floor, my eyes wide open with a thin glaze of tears over them. It felt as though I was paralyzed. Everyone else around me lay sleeping and the sounds of their comfort made it even more difficult to bear.(probably the wrong spelling). I had to get my self out of this haze so that i could gather my thoughts. So silently I brought myself back to life and made my way outside. The air was incredibly chilling, and as I walked all I could think about was wanting to be somewhere i couldnt. I was stranded there. No way to find the solutions to my problems. No way of finding out if that irritable gut feeling that something wasnt right, was accurate. It brought pain to me not to be able to just hop in my car and bring all my worries to a halt in hopes that my worries would be false.

The next day I gathered my things and left to find whether or not the night before had been for real. However everything seemed so normal, and so, right. It crossed my head over and over that the feelings i had been dealing with could not possibly be right. I kept asking myself, "then why do you keep feeling this way?" My only response to it was that I think too much, I was letting things get to my head.

But now that I know that night wasnt for nothing. And now that I know God does speak to me in many different ways, including my stomache, it comforts me to know he is always watching after me. And the temporary pain I sometimes feel all works out in the end for his divine plan.

FYI..this story is not something I am dealing with now. Just something to write about that happenned in my past. :)